Hey Guys!!
As I've been saying, I'm starting a youtube channel in affiliation with my blog. Here's the link to the first video!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ng60Y8G2GIg
Please check it out and, if you like it, give it a thumbs up and subscribe! More videos to come!
ED.
Friday, December 30, 2016
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
On Eugenia Cooney.
Hey Guys,
So today I wanted to write a post on a pretty controversial and sensitive topic, but one I feel is very important to discuss for us here in this community. I want to start writing about current events within the Eating Disorder community as I feel it is essential to keep up with the latest events to get a full understanding of the reality of ED's in our world today. That said, I'm going to talk about Eugenia Cooney.
Before I begin, I'd like to express that I think Eugenia is great. This is in no way sending her hate, because I think she is a very kind person as far as it seems on her youtube. For those who do not know Eugenia, she is a very well-known you-tuber who is also extremely emaciated. I've been following Eugenia's story for quite some time now, and it seems to have worsened as of late. The purpose of this post is not to diagnose Eugenia, but for me to add my perspective to the growing conversation on the issue.
Yes, I personally believe that Eugenia has Anorexia. But I also have not seen her or spoken to her, and I do not know whether she may have a different medical illness. That's not the point, though. It's clear that she is malnourished and is not at a "healthy" weight just from looking at her. The frustration for me, and I'm sure for many others, lies in the fact that Eugenia will not offer ANY sort of explanation to her viewers about what is going on. Eugenia's stance is that everything is fine and that she thinks it's weird that people are sending her hate. But, Eugenia, you have decided to put yourself on the internet and moreover to put your body in front of the camera (and sometimes just in shorts and a tank top) for the world to see. It is harmful to do this and to not provide an explanation for your extremely skeletal figure.
Eugenia often says "I'm not trying to do anything wrong." That's not the point, Eugenia. You don't have to be trying, but in essence you are being harmful to your viewers by acting like everything is okay when it clearly isn't. Young girls are going to try and emulate you, because they look up to you, and when they hear you acting like everything is fine, they will think it is perfectly fine and healthy to look the way you do. You are not being a good example by not saying anything. If you have a medical condition other than an ED, then by now you should at least touch upon it. I disagree with others saying you should put your blood tests and medical charts online, because of course that is invasive. But to just touch upon it would really calm your viewers down and offer a clear insight, and I know you always say, Eugenia, that you want the conversation about this issue to die down.
For me, this isn't just about Eugenia, though. It's about girls like her. Girls on social media that are clearly skeletal but do not explain anything about what is going on. You can't decide to put your world on the internet and then leave one whole aspect of your life that is so obvious to your viewers out and then expect no one to say anything about it. Eugenia acting surprised about this is what gets on my nerves and I'm sure on many others nerves. At the end of the day, we just want to know Eugenia is getting help. We want her to be real. Especially if she says she is being honest in sharing her life with her viewers.
So before you guys go to Eugenia's profile and start writing comments about how she should eat a burger, remember the real issue here. Eugenia is sick, whether she admits it or not, whether from an ED or another medical illness. She needs to get help, and she needs to get real with herself and her viewers. Only Eugenia can decide to do this. But if she's not going to be real about it, we can, and we can talk about the real issues here. And it starts with awareness and being honest with one another, especially if we are putting our lives out there for the world to see. Spread positivity, awareness, and BE REAL.
ED.
So today I wanted to write a post on a pretty controversial and sensitive topic, but one I feel is very important to discuss for us here in this community. I want to start writing about current events within the Eating Disorder community as I feel it is essential to keep up with the latest events to get a full understanding of the reality of ED's in our world today. That said, I'm going to talk about Eugenia Cooney.
Before I begin, I'd like to express that I think Eugenia is great. This is in no way sending her hate, because I think she is a very kind person as far as it seems on her youtube. For those who do not know Eugenia, she is a very well-known you-tuber who is also extremely emaciated. I've been following Eugenia's story for quite some time now, and it seems to have worsened as of late. The purpose of this post is not to diagnose Eugenia, but for me to add my perspective to the growing conversation on the issue.
Yes, I personally believe that Eugenia has Anorexia. But I also have not seen her or spoken to her, and I do not know whether she may have a different medical illness. That's not the point, though. It's clear that she is malnourished and is not at a "healthy" weight just from looking at her. The frustration for me, and I'm sure for many others, lies in the fact that Eugenia will not offer ANY sort of explanation to her viewers about what is going on. Eugenia's stance is that everything is fine and that she thinks it's weird that people are sending her hate. But, Eugenia, you have decided to put yourself on the internet and moreover to put your body in front of the camera (and sometimes just in shorts and a tank top) for the world to see. It is harmful to do this and to not provide an explanation for your extremely skeletal figure.
Eugenia often says "I'm not trying to do anything wrong." That's not the point, Eugenia. You don't have to be trying, but in essence you are being harmful to your viewers by acting like everything is okay when it clearly isn't. Young girls are going to try and emulate you, because they look up to you, and when they hear you acting like everything is fine, they will think it is perfectly fine and healthy to look the way you do. You are not being a good example by not saying anything. If you have a medical condition other than an ED, then by now you should at least touch upon it. I disagree with others saying you should put your blood tests and medical charts online, because of course that is invasive. But to just touch upon it would really calm your viewers down and offer a clear insight, and I know you always say, Eugenia, that you want the conversation about this issue to die down.
For me, this isn't just about Eugenia, though. It's about girls like her. Girls on social media that are clearly skeletal but do not explain anything about what is going on. You can't decide to put your world on the internet and then leave one whole aspect of your life that is so obvious to your viewers out and then expect no one to say anything about it. Eugenia acting surprised about this is what gets on my nerves and I'm sure on many others nerves. At the end of the day, we just want to know Eugenia is getting help. We want her to be real. Especially if she says she is being honest in sharing her life with her viewers.
So before you guys go to Eugenia's profile and start writing comments about how she should eat a burger, remember the real issue here. Eugenia is sick, whether she admits it or not, whether from an ED or another medical illness. She needs to get help, and she needs to get real with herself and her viewers. Only Eugenia can decide to do this. But if she's not going to be real about it, we can, and we can talk about the real issues here. And it starts with awareness and being honest with one another, especially if we are putting our lives out there for the world to see. Spread positivity, awareness, and BE REAL.
ED.
Friday, September 9, 2016
On Attention.
Hey Guys,
Long time since I've posted, I know. As we know, it was summer, and while I did intend to keep up this blog throughout the summer, that just did not happen. But here I am again, and I am back to writing weekly posts for this blog which I love so much. I also did not forget about the videos. I was having a little trouble posting them, but I am going to give the videos another shot as I think they really will add a great personalized component to the blog.
Anyway, today's topic is going to be on "attention." I hear oftentimes people thinking that Eating Disorders are about the sufferers just trying to gain attention (from parents, loved ones, friends, etc). Very false, at least for many people. Yes, an outcome of Eating Disorders IS often extra attention as the person needs to be taken care of and given extra help and guidance. But it is not fair to generalize this idea that people with ED's have their disorders to get attention. This is like saying that ED's are a choice, which they are not. If people wanted attention, they could get crazy body piercings or tattoos, for example. Those things would be a conscious choice to gain attention. But, as we know, an ED is a biological, psychological and social disease that is ingrained in one's mind while they have it, and it is NOT a choice. Just like having any other health disease is not a choice.
Actually, oftentimes, sufferers of ED's do NOT want attention. Rather, they've lost faith in their worlds and they feel lost, and with their ED's they are retreating into themselves and hiding from their world (which they view as out of control and scary). They're not looking for people to run to them and force feed them, believe me. They really don't want anyone to know much about their illness at all because their illness is their secret weapon with which to fight their battles. They don't want others to know they have this thing, what they believe to be an ally, because then others will know their secret and they may try to take it away from them. That's part of being "sick" with the disorder.
I'm not saying that no one with ED's want attention. Some do. Some want to be taken care of, and that is a result of their ED. But that's just it. It's a result, not a cause. People do not just decide that they just want more attention so they will get an ED. They may restrict or diet for a while to gain attention, but they cannot develop a full blown ED out of a conscious choice to get other people to pay more attention to them. They may subconsciously want this attention, but the ED stems from a myriad of biopsychosocial issues, and if ONE of those happens to be wanting more attention, well this may occur when they develop the disorder. But this is not THE cause, or the sole reason one has an ED. It is just something that was on their radar of things they desired, and the ED happened to make that thing happen for them. In, of course, a very unhealthy way.
My advice is, the next time someone says "so-and-so just has an ED because they want attention," tell them that they should read up a little bit about the disorder because no one can chose to get an ED for attention. Let's spread awareness. Let's spread truth.
ED.
Long time since I've posted, I know. As we know, it was summer, and while I did intend to keep up this blog throughout the summer, that just did not happen. But here I am again, and I am back to writing weekly posts for this blog which I love so much. I also did not forget about the videos. I was having a little trouble posting them, but I am going to give the videos another shot as I think they really will add a great personalized component to the blog.
Anyway, today's topic is going to be on "attention." I hear oftentimes people thinking that Eating Disorders are about the sufferers just trying to gain attention (from parents, loved ones, friends, etc). Very false, at least for many people. Yes, an outcome of Eating Disorders IS often extra attention as the person needs to be taken care of and given extra help and guidance. But it is not fair to generalize this idea that people with ED's have their disorders to get attention. This is like saying that ED's are a choice, which they are not. If people wanted attention, they could get crazy body piercings or tattoos, for example. Those things would be a conscious choice to gain attention. But, as we know, an ED is a biological, psychological and social disease that is ingrained in one's mind while they have it, and it is NOT a choice. Just like having any other health disease is not a choice.
Actually, oftentimes, sufferers of ED's do NOT want attention. Rather, they've lost faith in their worlds and they feel lost, and with their ED's they are retreating into themselves and hiding from their world (which they view as out of control and scary). They're not looking for people to run to them and force feed them, believe me. They really don't want anyone to know much about their illness at all because their illness is their secret weapon with which to fight their battles. They don't want others to know they have this thing, what they believe to be an ally, because then others will know their secret and they may try to take it away from them. That's part of being "sick" with the disorder.
I'm not saying that no one with ED's want attention. Some do. Some want to be taken care of, and that is a result of their ED. But that's just it. It's a result, not a cause. People do not just decide that they just want more attention so they will get an ED. They may restrict or diet for a while to gain attention, but they cannot develop a full blown ED out of a conscious choice to get other people to pay more attention to them. They may subconsciously want this attention, but the ED stems from a myriad of biopsychosocial issues, and if ONE of those happens to be wanting more attention, well this may occur when they develop the disorder. But this is not THE cause, or the sole reason one has an ED. It is just something that was on their radar of things they desired, and the ED happened to make that thing happen for them. In, of course, a very unhealthy way.
My advice is, the next time someone says "so-and-so just has an ED because they want attention," tell them that they should read up a little bit about the disorder because no one can chose to get an ED for attention. Let's spread awareness. Let's spread truth.
ED.
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
My First Video for my blog!
I wanted to start making a video component for my blog as I feel that it will make what I'm saying much more accessible and personable to the viewers.. you all! So please enjoy the video, and look forward to many more videos that I'll be making! I'm also going to start a youtube channel in correlation with my blog that will have the same videos uploaded to that, so please look it up at "edoneds" and subscribe!
My social media links are:
Insta: @emmadayledemar
FB Page: edoneds (Please give it a "like"!)
E-mail: emmaddemar@gmail.com
I'd love topic suggestions you have for the videos, so please feel free to e-mail them to me!
ED.
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
On: NEDA Website
Hey all!
Some exciting news! NEDA's website (National Eating Disorders Association) has a part about featured stories on hope and they've posted mine! Please feel free to check it out on the NEDA website at nationaleatingdisorders.org under "featured stories of hope." You can then search for my story under my name "Emma Demar."
ED
Some exciting news! NEDA's website (National Eating Disorders Association) has a part about featured stories on hope and they've posted mine! Please feel free to check it out on the NEDA website at nationaleatingdisorders.org under "featured stories of hope." You can then search for my story under my name "Emma Demar."
ED
Monday, April 18, 2016
On Body Dismorphia.
For this post, I asked a friend what she would be interested in reading on this blog. I wondered what she wanted to know about ED's as someone who has never had one. She said she wanted to understand the concept of body dismorphia and how some people with an ED think that they are "fat," while others might not. She wondered if an ED was, for anyone suffering, something in your head or if it was more of a conscious choice to be thinner.
My answer to this begins with the fact that an ED, as I've said, is never a choice. It is a disease for anyone who develops one, and thus it is something that is in your head. It is not conscious. In terms of the body dismorphia component, not all people with an ED see something different in the mirror than what others see. Body dismorphia is exactly that- when you yourself see your body as different then it actually is in reality. While many sufferers from ED's do have body dismorphia, not all sufferers do. Many do understand what they actually look like. But an ED is not just about weight or about food or about what you look like anyway. It's about the underlying causes, so it really does not matter how you see yourself necessarily in terms of weight.
The body dismorphia, also, is not necessarily a CAUSE of an ED. It can be a result. Meaning, someone might develop an ED for the various reasons that one does, and then during the ED may start to feel that they just aren't thin enough because of those underlying causes. Control is one cause. They may feel out of control which can be one reason why they developed the ED, and then the effect of that is that while they are losing weight they may think that the process is not fast enough and they then feel out of control, thus causing them to experience body dismorphia as they SEE how they FEEL (out of control, or bigger than they are). The reflection in the mirror becomes a representation of how they see themselves on the inside, which is why they may see something that is not there.
Through recovery, as one becomes in touch with themselves again and regains the self-love that they need to have, the image that they see in the mirror starts to reflect that inner positivity. Their minds are more clear and concise as they are now feeding their body so they can better see what is accurately in front of them. Again, not everyone with an ED has body dismorphia. And an ED is never a choice. But recovery is. And I encourage anyone and everyone suffering to choose recovery.
ED.
Monday, April 4, 2016
On Finding Purpose.
An ED is often the result of one's need to find an overarching goal, or purpose, for one's life. A person who develops an ED may feel lost and confused about the greater meaning of life. They are often over-achievers and goal-oriented, and always want to be working towards something. Something concrete. The ED gives the person just that, a concrete goal in numbers.. the goal to lose as much weight as quickly as possible and to count calories and over-exercise and do whatever it may be to meet that goal. Suddenly, the person feels as though they have a purpose. Their purpose is to starve, to lose weight, to control their intake.
Part of recovery, then, becomes a process of redirecting. Oftentimes, people who develop ED's have high energy, and like I said, are always moving towards a goal. Thus, in recovery, the person needs to redirect their focus and goal from controlling their weight to positively controlling something else in their lives (i.e. applying for a job they really want, pursuing a hobby they are incredibly passionate about, etc). This redirection is extremely difficult, of course, because the person is so entrenched in their ED and that is all they know. To redirect that focus is to relearn everything they know about how they've organized their lives and coped with everything. Yet this refocusing is possible, and as time goes on, it gets easier and easier. The person learns new behaviors and can develop a newfound love in another aspect of their lives, other than weight control.
What the struggler of the ED needs to learn is to find purpose. Find ANOTHER purpose other than their ED, something that makes them want to live life to its very fullest (and not just passively on the sidelines). I believe that any strong treatment plan for someone struggling is to help the individual identify what it is in their life that they can refocus on, or a positive addition to their life that they can integrate and replace the ED with. When one recovers from an ED they don't know what to turn to. They feel empty. With a redirection and another huge goal for themselves, they will no longer feel that sense of confusion and unrest. They will have a beautiful landscape of goals ahead of them to work towards. That's the beauty of recovery.
ED.
Part of recovery, then, becomes a process of redirecting. Oftentimes, people who develop ED's have high energy, and like I said, are always moving towards a goal. Thus, in recovery, the person needs to redirect their focus and goal from controlling their weight to positively controlling something else in their lives (i.e. applying for a job they really want, pursuing a hobby they are incredibly passionate about, etc). This redirection is extremely difficult, of course, because the person is so entrenched in their ED and that is all they know. To redirect that focus is to relearn everything they know about how they've organized their lives and coped with everything. Yet this refocusing is possible, and as time goes on, it gets easier and easier. The person learns new behaviors and can develop a newfound love in another aspect of their lives, other than weight control.
What the struggler of the ED needs to learn is to find purpose. Find ANOTHER purpose other than their ED, something that makes them want to live life to its very fullest (and not just passively on the sidelines). I believe that any strong treatment plan for someone struggling is to help the individual identify what it is in their life that they can refocus on, or a positive addition to their life that they can integrate and replace the ED with. When one recovers from an ED they don't know what to turn to. They feel empty. With a redirection and another huge goal for themselves, they will no longer feel that sense of confusion and unrest. They will have a beautiful landscape of goals ahead of them to work towards. That's the beauty of recovery.
ED.
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