On: NEDA Website

Hey all!

Some exciting news! NEDA's website (National Eating Disorders Association) has a part about featured stories on hope and they've posted mine! Please feel free to check it out on the NEDA website at nationaleatingdisorders.org under "featured stories of hope." You can then search for my story under my name "Emma Demar."

ED

On Body Dismorphia.

For this post, I asked a friend what she would be interested in reading on this blog. I wondered what she wanted to know about ED's as someone who has never had one. She said she wanted to understand the concept of body dismorphia and how some people with an ED think that they are "fat," while others might not. She wondered if an ED was, for anyone suffering, something in your head or if it was more of a conscious choice to be thinner.

My answer to this begins with the fact that an ED, as I've said, is never a choice. It is a disease for anyone who develops one, and thus it is something that is in your head. It is not conscious. In terms of the body dismorphia component, not all people with an ED see something different in the mirror than what others see. Body dismorphia is exactly that- when you yourself see your body as different then it actually is in reality. While many sufferers from ED's do have body dismorphia, not all sufferers do. Many do understand what they actually look like. But an ED is not just about weight or about food or about what you look like anyway. It's about the underlying causes, so it really does not matter how you see yourself necessarily in terms of weight.

The body dismorphia, also, is not necessarily a CAUSE of an ED. It can be a result. Meaning, someone might develop an ED for the various reasons that one does, and then during the ED may start to feel that they just aren't thin enough because of those underlying causes. Control is one cause. They may feel out of control which can be one reason why they developed the ED, and then the effect of that is that while they are losing weight they may think that the process is not fast enough and they then feel out of control, thus causing them to experience body dismorphia as they SEE how they FEEL (out of control, or bigger than they are). The reflection in the mirror becomes a representation of how they see themselves on the inside, which is why they may see something that is not there.

Through recovery, as one becomes in touch with themselves again and regains the self-love that they need to have, the image that they see in the mirror starts to reflect that inner positivity. Their minds are more clear and concise as they are now feeding their body so they can better see what is accurately in front of them. Again, not everyone with an ED has body dismorphia. And an ED is never a choice. But recovery is. And I encourage anyone and everyone suffering to choose recovery.

ED.

On Finding Purpose.

An ED is often the result of one's need to find an overarching goal, or purpose, for one's life. A person who develops an ED may feel lost and confused about the greater meaning of life. They are often over-achievers and goal-oriented, and always want to be working towards something. Something concrete. The ED gives the person just that, a concrete goal in numbers.. the goal to lose as much weight as quickly as possible and to count calories and over-exercise and do whatever it may be to meet that goal. Suddenly, the person feels as though they have a purpose. Their purpose is to starve, to lose weight, to control their intake.

Part of recovery, then, becomes a process of redirecting. Oftentimes, people who develop ED's have high energy, and like I said, are always moving towards a goal. Thus, in recovery, the person needs to redirect their focus and goal from controlling their weight to positively controlling something else in their lives (i.e. applying for a job they really want, pursuing a hobby they are incredibly passionate about, etc). This redirection is extremely difficult, of course, because the person is so entrenched in their ED and that is all they know. To redirect that focus is to relearn everything they know about how they've organized their lives and coped with everything. Yet this refocusing is possible, and as time goes on, it gets easier and easier. The person learns new behaviors and can develop a newfound love in another aspect of their lives, other than weight control.

What the struggler of the ED needs to learn is to find purpose. Find ANOTHER purpose other than their ED, something that makes them want to live life to its very fullest (and not just passively on the sidelines). I believe that any strong treatment plan for someone struggling is to help the individual identify what it is in their life that they can refocus on, or a positive addition to their life that they can integrate and replace the ED with. When one recovers from an ED they don't know what to turn to. They feel empty. With a redirection and another huge goal for themselves, they will no longer feel that sense of confusion and unrest. They will have a beautiful landscape of goals ahead of them to work towards. That's the beauty of recovery.

ED.