Relearning How To Eat.

Hey Guys!

Hope everyone is having a relaxing snow day. Although I'm not a fan of the cold, it's always nice to be cozy, light some candles, read a good book, and relax with the one you love :)

Today, I want to talk about relearning how to eat. What happens after you recover from an Eating Disorder? When one goes through the process of starvation and believing that food is the enemy, you can imagine it becomes incredibly difficult to begin to learn how to regain a healthy relationship with food. I've often heard people say that you never fully recover from an Eating Disorder, and that part of it always stays with you. I'm in the school of thought that you can fully recover if you retrain your mind in the right way.

So how do you do it? For me, as I was recovering, I tried to remind myself how I once thought of food as a child. As a little kid, you're not thinking (probably) about calories. You're thinking that food is just good and you want to eat it. That's part of the mindset. Food IS good! It's there to be enjoyed, and that's why it tastes good. So, when relearning how to eat, it's important to try and go back into that mindset you had as a child when it comes to food in the sense that you must think about food as a friend and not an enemy, or something to be feared.

Another aspect of this mindset shift of recovery is remembering all of the amazing benefits of food. Food provides the nutrients that we need to survive and flourish. Recovery can look like many things for different people. Some people go to the other end of the spectrum (for example, from starving to binging), which isn't helpful. The idea is not to go to the other extreme, but to find that perfect middle ground that works for you. It's about listening to your body which you've been denying for so long and figuring out which way of eating makes sense for YOU. It's not about your friend being vegan and so that automatically means that that's the way to do things, or your other friends starving all day and only pigging out on unhealthy foods when they do eat. It's not about looking to the side but about looking within and figuring out what it is YOU need. Your body is not the same as anyone else's so you can't look at other people's diets as the perfect template for yourself.

I hope you've found this helpful! If you have any further questions or topic suggestions for the blog, please feel free to e-mail me at emmaddemar@gmail.com. Also, follow me on insta at: @emmadayledemar and subscribe to my edoneds youtube channel for exciting videos!

ED.

New Video on Bullying.

Hey Guys!!

I've uploaded a new youtube video to my edoneds youtube channel. It's on bullying as it pertains to Eating Disorders. Check it out and give it a "like" and subscribe!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6bbmuXq8-Q

Thanks!

ED.

MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL!!!!

Hey Guys!!

As I've been saying, I'm starting a youtube channel in affiliation with my blog. Here's the link to the first video!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ng60Y8G2GIg

Please check it out and, if you like it, give it a thumbs up and subscribe! More videos to come!

ED.

On Eugenia Cooney.

Hey Guys,

So today I wanted to write a post on a pretty controversial and sensitive topic, but one I feel is very important to discuss for us here in this community. I want to start writing about current events within the Eating Disorder community as I feel it is essential to keep up with the latest events to get a full understanding of the reality of ED's in our world today. That said, I'm going to talk about Eugenia Cooney.

Before I begin, I'd like to express that I think Eugenia is great. This is in no way sending her hate, because I think she is a very kind person as far as it seems on her youtube. For those who do not know Eugenia, she is a very well-known you-tuber who is also extremely emaciated. I've been following Eugenia's story for quite some time now, and it seems to have worsened as of late. The purpose of this post is not to diagnose Eugenia, but for me to add my perspective to the growing conversation on the issue.

Yes, I personally believe that Eugenia has Anorexia. But I also have not seen her or spoken to her, and I do not know whether she may have a different medical illness. That's not the point, though. It's clear that she is malnourished and is not at a "healthy" weight just from looking at her. The frustration for me, and I'm sure for many others, lies in the fact that Eugenia will not offer ANY sort of explanation to her viewers about what is going on. Eugenia's stance is that everything is fine and that she thinks it's weird that people are sending her hate. But, Eugenia, you have decided to put yourself on the internet and moreover to put your body in front of the camera (and sometimes just in shorts and a tank top) for the world to see. It is harmful to do this and to not provide an explanation for your extremely skeletal figure.

Eugenia often says "I'm not trying to do anything wrong." That's not the point, Eugenia. You don't have to be trying, but in essence you are being harmful to your viewers by acting like everything is okay when it clearly isn't. Young girls are going to try and emulate you, because they look up to you, and when they hear you acting like everything is fine, they will think it is perfectly fine and healthy to look the way you do. You are not being a good example by not saying anything. If you have a medical condition other than an ED, then by now you should at least touch upon it. I disagree with others saying you should put your blood tests and medical charts online, because of course that is invasive. But to just touch upon it would really calm your viewers down and offer a clear insight, and I know you always say, Eugenia, that you want the conversation about this issue to die down.

For me, this isn't just about Eugenia, though. It's about girls like her. Girls on social media that are clearly skeletal but do not explain anything about what is going on. You can't decide to put your world on the internet and then leave one whole aspect of your life that is so obvious to your viewers out and then expect no one to say anything about it. Eugenia acting surprised about this is what gets on my nerves and I'm sure on many others nerves. At the end of the day, we just want to know Eugenia is getting help. We want her to be real. Especially if she says she is being honest in sharing her life with her viewers.

So before you guys go to Eugenia's profile and start writing comments about how she should eat a burger, remember the real issue here. Eugenia is sick, whether she admits it or not, whether from an ED or another medical illness. She needs to get help, and she needs to get real with herself and her viewers. Only Eugenia can decide to do this. But if she's not going to be real about it, we can, and we can talk about the real issues here. And it starts with awareness and being honest with one another, especially if we are putting our lives out there for the world to see. Spread positivity, awareness, and BE REAL.

ED.

On Attention.

Hey Guys,

Long time since I've posted, I know. As we know, it was summer, and while I did intend to keep up this blog throughout the summer, that just did not happen. But here I am again, and I am back to writing weekly posts for this blog which I love so much. I also did not forget about the videos. I was having a little trouble posting them, but I am going to give the videos another shot as I think they really will add a great personalized component to the blog.

Anyway, today's topic is going to be on "attention." I hear oftentimes people thinking that Eating Disorders are about the sufferers just trying to gain attention (from parents, loved ones, friends, etc). Very false, at least for many people. Yes, an outcome of Eating Disorders IS often extra attention as the person needs to be taken care of and given extra help and guidance. But it is not fair to generalize this idea that people with ED's have their disorders to get attention. This is like saying that ED's are a choice, which they are not. If people wanted attention, they could get crazy body piercings or tattoos, for example. Those things would be a conscious choice to gain attention. But, as we know, an ED is a biological, psychological and social disease that is ingrained in one's mind while they have it, and it is NOT a choice. Just like having any other health disease is not a choice.

Actually, oftentimes, sufferers of ED's do NOT want attention. Rather, they've lost faith in their worlds and they feel lost, and with their ED's they are retreating into themselves and hiding from their world (which they view as out of control and scary). They're not looking for people to run to them and force feed them, believe me. They really don't want anyone to know much about their illness at all because their illness is their secret weapon with which to fight their battles. They don't want others to know they have this thing, what they believe to be an ally, because then others will know their secret and they may try to take it away from them. That's part of being "sick" with the disorder.

I'm not saying that no one with ED's want attention. Some do. Some want to be taken care of, and that is a result of their ED. But that's just it. It's a result, not a cause. People do not just decide that they just want more attention so they will get an ED. They may restrict or diet for a while to gain attention, but they cannot develop a full blown ED out of a conscious choice to get other people to pay more attention to them. They may subconsciously want this attention, but the ED stems from a myriad of biopsychosocial issues, and if ONE of those happens to be wanting more attention, well this may occur when they develop the disorder. But this is not THE cause, or the sole reason one has an ED. It is just something that was on their radar of things they desired, and the ED happened to make that thing happen for them. In, of course, a very unhealthy way.

My advice is, the next time someone says "so-and-so just has an ED because they want attention," tell them that they should read up a little bit about the disorder because no one can chose to get an ED for attention. Let's spread awareness. Let's spread truth.

ED.

My First Video for my blog!

Hey Guys!

I wanted to start making a video component for my blog as I feel that it will make what I'm saying much more accessible and personable to the viewers.. you all! So please enjoy the video, and look forward to many more videos that I'll be making! I'm also going to start a youtube channel in correlation with my blog that will have the same videos uploaded to that, so please look it up at "edoneds" and subscribe!

My social media links are:

Insta: @emmadayledemar
FB Page: edoneds (Please give it a "like"!)
E-mail: emmaddemar@gmail.com

I'd love topic suggestions you have for the videos, so please feel free to e-mail them to me!

ED.

On: NEDA Website

Hey all!

Some exciting news! NEDA's website (National Eating Disorders Association) has a part about featured stories on hope and they've posted mine! Please feel free to check it out on the NEDA website at nationaleatingdisorders.org under "featured stories of hope." You can then search for my story under my name "Emma Demar."

ED